One of the hardest days of my life

Today was a great day for my children.  For me...not so much.  I knew this day would come and I knew it would be tough...but no one told me it would rip my heart out!

As most of you know, I worked full time for the first 2.5 years of Karis' life and for Brayden's 1st year of life and they stayed with my mom...the best place they could be other than being at home.  She has been such a blessing in our life.  She was a huge help to me but also a blessing to my children as well.  I also must mention that for the last 2 years I was driving an hour from Eudora to Bartlett to my mom's to drop them off and then another 10 minutes to work.  So in May 2007 I did resign from Shelby County Schools but took a part-time position in Olive Branch.  I  was still driving to Bartlett to drop my kids off and then driving back to Olive Branch to work.  The time has come where we have decided to place them in a MDO program in our area and for the first time someone other than mom or Lolli will be keeping the kids.  I knew it would be good for them, and us, however I didn't realize how hard it would be to drop them off and walk out the door.  The kids (or Karis) were so excited...can you tell?

I am very pleased with this MDO program.  It is not just a babysitting service...they teach them the Abeka (not sure about that spelling) home-schooling program and prepare them for school.  Although it will be 2 more years before Karis starts kindergarten, I wanted her to be exposed to some teaching other than mom!  

Starting yesterday, I began to feel the depth of what we were doing today.  I started making their lunches last night and it all hit me like a ton of bricks...I was crying hysterically as I put grapes into a baggie!!!  I wrote them both a note (knowing they wouldn't be able to read it, but somehow it made me feel better).  As I woke up this morning to get them ready and to finish their sandwiches, I began crying again and knew I would be a basketcase when I dropped them off.  Yes...I was that crazy momma who made sure they had everything they could possibly need and the very momma (when I was a teacher) I used to roll my eyes at.  But it was ME today!  I tried to keep my composure as I walked out of their classrooms and then when I got to the car...LOST IT!  Karis walked in with no fears.  She made a friend instantly, turned around to kiss me and happily said, "Bye Mommy!"  Then we proceeded to take Brayden.  He was fine until he saw me walking out and then started crying but that didn't last long.   

Brayden on the other hand was having a "mommy" moment as he has done alot lately.  Not so sure it was going to be an exciting day for him.

Karis and her teacher Mrs. Stephanie

Brayden and his teacher Mrs. Debbie (look at his face..still not so sure about her...still a mommy moment)

I was very eager to pick them up at 2:00.  They were both very excited to see me and Karis was telling me all about her day.  She made lots of friends and learned about the number 1!  Brayden's teacher told me it was a tough day for him.  He wouldn't eat his snack and wanted his blanket all day.  I guess this is pretty typical of a 2 year old in a strange place for the first time.  I know it will get better in time...for him...and me.  On a side note, Brayden is allergic to peanuts and I found peanut butter on his cup when I picked him up.  I had a panic moment and talked to the director and hopefully this won't happen again.  All in all, it was a good day.  A day I will NEVER forget!